Setting The Stage

Back when dinosaurs and I freely roamed the Earth (early 1980s – mid 1990s), a story unfolded the telling of which will surely brand me a big fat liar. Or alternatively delusional. Nonetheless, every word is absolutely true and factual to the best of my ever-fading memory.

First of all – never even once did I ever cheat on my wife – not once. These activities were all subsequent to my becoming divorced. Although, while deployed, viewing of porn many times did occur. My many blessings did not include either the equipment or the stamina to perform any of the feats depicted in the videos. Incidentally, one cannot buy “small” or “extra small” condoms anymore. “Snug” or “extra snug” are now available. Counterintuitively, smaller condoms are more expensive than Magnum size.

As a Marine Corps officer, my physical conditioning was maintained at a fairly high level. My short stubby legs were a continuing challenge for running and swimming, or similarly propulsive legwork. And a career in modelling of shorts or underwear was out as well.

A few years as an Officer in the U.S. Navy followed, serving with a deployable, shore-based organization required a level of physical conditioning that exceeded that of the majority of the Navy.

Please be advised that despite my fit physical appearance, the only time I was ever called “handsome” was on Sundays in my elementary school days. After my Mom (RIP) finished my church-suit necktie, she would hold me at arms length and say “My, don’t you look handsome!” To avoid the implication of my dear Mother (RIP) being a liar, I shall shelter within the adage “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.

Divorced. Onward and inward.

A piece of the picture not heretofore mentioned, although key to recognizing the incredulousness of these events is this: all the ladies involved were the aggressors. Aggression is probably too strong. Instigators fits better. On my dear Mother’s (RIP) grave and on my sacred honor, the ladies in the following stories all made the first move without my encouragement to even the slightest degree.

Always in my memory: